Just the other day, I met this chick I went to primary school with. She was one of these girls I wondered what would happen to her when she grew up. She was quite timid, liked crying at the slightest of anything she didn’t like and was just a mess. She did have the brains though, that I can’t deny. We parted ways when we went to different high schools and they moved estates. So following up on her was impossible.
Towards the end of last month, I happened to meet her together with another guy we went to school with. We had a few drinks (truth be told I was on Sprite coz there was no ginger ale), and that’s when I can say all hell broke loose. To say I was left dumbfounded would be an understatement. After all was said and done I was left wondering where I had been all this time.
I wonder why a little alcohol in the blood changes people quite a bit. That’s when women/men end up bedding people they just met, without a care in world, and not caring if they are married or not. They throw caution to the wind. I don’t think I have ever gotten to that state where I lose my mind and do something I would live to regret or even wake up the next morning wondering what I did and why I did it. I believe in self respect, any day, any time. I just don’t understand why people do the things that they do, married, in so called relationships or single. Growing up a Catholic for that matter, I knew what was right and what was wrong. The Ten Commandments clearly states that. I wonder why these are the same people who go against their religious teachings, then come and claim that they are Christians. I so do loath such human beings.
Well, back to my story. After a few drinks, it was confession time. And after the night was over, I believe I was the saint of all saints, please call me Mother Teresa for ever. This chick went overboard. Apparently she used to be married to some dude, must have been a ‘come we try’ marriage. Having to live with the said dude for 3 bloody years, the dude comes in one morning from one of his outings with another clande in tow, orders her out of the house at that ungodly hour, she doesn’t live in Nairobi mark you, and it is one of the coldest towns in Kenya. Where do you go at such an hour? It is 2 am, its freezing, and your replacement has come too. I don’t understand what goes through such a chick’s mind. Anyway, they say what goes around comes around. Here you have a man who has come home with you to throw out his live-in girlfriend and you go ahead and thump your chest feeling on top of the world.
Anyway, I felt it for this girl. She spent the night out in the cold, waited for morning, packed up and left for her mum’s. Of course our mothers will never fail to accept us back. She mourned for ages. Those were her words, she just could not understand why the man she had given her all did this to her. If she could turn back the hands of time……….. what had happened had happened. She could either live to regret or move on and be happy at least she was safe.
Well, one day after crying for hours, she thought to herself, ‘why I’m I crying for a man who has moved on with his life?’ She claims that she felt pretty stupid but I do not blame her. We as women love with every part of our bodies, unlike men. A man will take you to bed just to satisfy his urge and then that’s it, it does not matter what he tells you. If its for sex, that’s it, its sex. He will of course try to justify his reasons for doing what he did which most of the time does not make sense. He will claim he does not enjoy having sex with you but give him that woman he’s been ogling, he will not care. He will enjoy the sex.
The story got quite interesting. We actually sat at one place until 3am just talking about relationships. There were some Tanzanians who had come with one of our friends who I think could not believe what was coming out of some peoples mouths! I too was left in shock.
The talk got heated when an argument started about CFAs. Apparently this guy married the said woman and has a kid with her. Good for her, at least she got to be recognized as the wife.
There was talk of keeping a man/woman happy in a relationship and there were all these crazy ideas from sex to respect. What was discussed was quite true. We are not angels and we do make mistakes. What happens when the man you think you are dating has sexual affairs with other women? And you have the proof even if he denies it. Is that cheating or this only counts when you are married? When you are in a relationship, are you wholly the man’s/woman’s or you are also allowed some spice on the side? And the man/woman he/she is cheating with. What makes them stoop so low as to have sex with someone who is not even theirs, I fail to understand. I just don’t understand.
You must be wondering where I’m going to with all this. This chick talked about being in a relationship with a man she feels nothing for. He is there to be called when she needs sex and sex alone, no feeling attached. She calls him up and he shows up whenever he can. Most of the time he does. So how comes they are not in a relationship? She does not want to be in a relationship with him, and I wondered out loud why. She did explain to me in detail. Since being hurt by the man she thought loved her, she decided to go all out and do the same to another man. Have no feelings whatsoever towards men. Be they single or married, she stopped caring.
She claimed that as long as the sex is good and both enjoy, that’s all there is to it. I tend to differ. I don’t believe you can just have a relationship based on sex only. Another instance is when apparently one of her friends got a text from her so called partner to another woman talking of not being sexually active because the woman was working somewhere outside the country. So what? Does it mean that if you get posted outside the country you will definitely go back on the promise to be faithful to one another? That means there can never be trust in the relationship because if when dating and just because you don’t live together you can afford to cheat on your partner and deny it even with such damning evidence, what’s the use? I know we’re all afraid of losing the person we have feelings for and its not because we cannot do what they too are doing. It’s all a matter of self respect.
I wanted to get to the bottom of this chick’s decision, and her revelation was even more startling. The man she was in a CFA relationship with is actually the ex-boyfriend who threw her out of his house and replaced her with another woman that he is currently married to. She claims the man does not love the wife which is true but what gives her the authority to mess someone else’s marriage. I do not agree with what she is doing. The man is now married. She is single, fine. Does that make what she is doing right? No, it doesn’t. I told her the same but I think she is still bitter and is punishing the other woman, but for whose mistakes? The husband for making the wrong choice? I just did not get it, truth be told.
A CFA is a Convenient Fucking Arrangement, so I came to learn. It is amazing how many people are in such relationships, as much as we tend to deny that they exist. From the man in our lives to ourselves. I wonder what the world is coming to.
I am meeting the said girl alone this weekend and I just have to find out what goes on in her mind coz I still need to understand. Enough people are in these relationships and it is not funny. Losing sleep because you just do not know what to do, but the other party is out having all the fun. Is it truly worth it? All I can say is that love or trust is not such a good thing. Especially if the other person doesn't give a damn about you. It is worse where kids are concerned.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
I will pick up from where I left on last time.
You see, I woke up quite late on Sunday and had hoped I would go to Kampala to 'shop' for those small things women shop for as long as its not back home. Having woken up at midday did not help matters either. I wanted to run my errands in the morning and being a morning person, afternoon was out of the question. I wonder who else has the same problem. My stuff has to be done before midday otherwise it will just be a waste of time, and energy and things always go wrong for me in the afternoons.
Well, I still had to take my breakfast as I watched a very interesting movie. I can't quite remember the name though. We decided to go for lunch at some beautiful hotel just by the shores of Lake Victoria. Believe you me, if the other beaches were clean, this one was 'magnifique'. These guys do know how to take care of their beaches. Watched them do what they do best, show them booties! I have to admit, they do have them booties, and man! You can only envy them. My problem is with the young gals who look like they are competing for attention from the few foreigners, but cannot be compared to Kenya. Not too many white or even chutes.
Ok, back to my trip. After hanging around the beach and watching gals and boyz play beach volleyball, ate fish (they give Osewe compe, they can fry their fish so well), with chips (not from Kenchic, this was real fish with chips. These people do love chips, and its made so well I actually enjoyed eating fries. Left for home at around 7pm when the fun was beginning, they must be night crawlers. I was exhausted from last night.
Went home and since I didn't feel like going anywhere this evening. Read part of 9/11 history plus the aftermath of all that happened that day. Sad but interesting. Chatted till late, went to bed after 1am. Being a working day, Monday was going to be spent alone so I made up my mind that I would take myself to Kampala. Early morning I got dropped off at the 'taxi' park and took a 'taxi' to Kampala. It costs UGX 2000. Thats about KES80 for a journey of about 40kms. Was quite smooth, I got to nap abit. Getting into KLA was another issue. The taxi park is nothing to write home about. If you thought Muthurwa stage (I've been there once) is chaotic, you should visit the old KLA park.
Managed to get myself round, got a very helpful woman who was willing to take me round till I told her to just go back and man, 'or woman' her shop. They are too courteous, these people. Well the Kenyan in me had to keep calculating from UGX to KES to just find out how much I was being conned, they are fond of this esp if you are not from Uganda. But I had been warned, and i turned out to be quite a handful, all kenyans are husslers, goes without saying. Things are quite fair in KLA and I promised myself to be back there soon, to get stuff for biashara.
Finished my biashara, hoped into a 'taxi' but before that witnessed a chick being robbed of her fone with Ugandans turning the park upside down looking for the thug. I didnt want to wait and see what happened coz there was total confusion. I left in a hurry, jumped into the first 'taxi' and I was homebound. The journey back was quite fast. By the time I started dozing I had already reached Entebbe. Slept abit then waited for around 4pm, took a shower, left the house at 5pm to the airport. Took me 3 minutes, checked in and off to nairobi.
On getting to Nairobi, I get quarrelled for booking two vehicles, so that started off badly. Welcome home I guess, and I wished I was back in Ug, so peaceful...............
You see, I woke up quite late on Sunday and had hoped I would go to Kampala to 'shop' for those small things women shop for as long as its not back home. Having woken up at midday did not help matters either. I wanted to run my errands in the morning and being a morning person, afternoon was out of the question. I wonder who else has the same problem. My stuff has to be done before midday otherwise it will just be a waste of time, and energy and things always go wrong for me in the afternoons.
Well, I still had to take my breakfast as I watched a very interesting movie. I can't quite remember the name though. We decided to go for lunch at some beautiful hotel just by the shores of Lake Victoria. Believe you me, if the other beaches were clean, this one was 'magnifique'. These guys do know how to take care of their beaches. Watched them do what they do best, show them booties! I have to admit, they do have them booties, and man! You can only envy them. My problem is with the young gals who look like they are competing for attention from the few foreigners, but cannot be compared to Kenya. Not too many white or even chutes.
Ok, back to my trip. After hanging around the beach and watching gals and boyz play beach volleyball, ate fish (they give Osewe compe, they can fry their fish so well), with chips (not from Kenchic, this was real fish with chips. These people do love chips, and its made so well I actually enjoyed eating fries. Left for home at around 7pm when the fun was beginning, they must be night crawlers. I was exhausted from last night.
Went home and since I didn't feel like going anywhere this evening. Read part of 9/11 history plus the aftermath of all that happened that day. Sad but interesting. Chatted till late, went to bed after 1am. Being a working day, Monday was going to be spent alone so I made up my mind that I would take myself to Kampala. Early morning I got dropped off at the 'taxi' park and took a 'taxi' to Kampala. It costs UGX 2000. Thats about KES80 for a journey of about 40kms. Was quite smooth, I got to nap abit. Getting into KLA was another issue. The taxi park is nothing to write home about. If you thought Muthurwa stage (I've been there once) is chaotic, you should visit the old KLA park.
Managed to get myself round, got a very helpful woman who was willing to take me round till I told her to just go back and man, 'or woman' her shop. They are too courteous, these people. Well the Kenyan in me had to keep calculating from UGX to KES to just find out how much I was being conned, they are fond of this esp if you are not from Uganda. But I had been warned, and i turned out to be quite a handful, all kenyans are husslers, goes without saying. Things are quite fair in KLA and I promised myself to be back there soon, to get stuff for biashara.
Finished my biashara, hoped into a 'taxi' but before that witnessed a chick being robbed of her fone with Ugandans turning the park upside down looking for the thug. I didnt want to wait and see what happened coz there was total confusion. I left in a hurry, jumped into the first 'taxi' and I was homebound. The journey back was quite fast. By the time I started dozing I had already reached Entebbe. Slept abit then waited for around 4pm, took a shower, left the house at 5pm to the airport. Took me 3 minutes, checked in and off to nairobi.
On getting to Nairobi, I get quarrelled for booking two vehicles, so that started off badly. Welcome home I guess, and I wished I was back in Ug, so peaceful...............
Thursday, July 31, 2008
LONG, LONG, LONG TIME
Hey all, been quite a while since I wrote down my thoughts in this forum. Actually, the thing is that my life hasn't been that rosy, things just seem to be going wrong. Anything that could go wrong, went wrong and there is nothing I could have done to salvage the situation. I could be doing something wrong, terribly wrong.
But that is a story in the past and I do not dwell on the past.
We I took a deserved break last week to visit Uganda. Needed the time alone to just go relax, refresh, rethink my options and basically just REORGANIZE! And reorganize I did. Ok, day one was ok, left Friday p.m. aboard Air Uganda (till last week I didn't even know they existed, but the gamble paid off). The flight was smooth, no incidents but I was kinda disappointed that they only served sandwiches. No option of a vegetarian meal. Sorry, the option was to take water or soda or juice (packed, and made in Kenya but I'm not mentioning names). Flight took an hour, just like going to Kisumu on KQ.
Surprise surprise, Entebbe airport has grown, shame on JKIA. Last time I was there I thought we'd been flown to Kisumu! But now, I'm embarassed to have an international airport that we call Jomo Kenyatta. I'm sure the all knowing will say the EBB airport has been build with help from the Israel Government, so what! We pay enough taxes to do a better job than that. We have a bigger uglier airport, but please don't ask what I'm doing about it. We pay for services to be provided and later cry foul when our money is misused on nothing at all. Ni sawa tu.
My drive from the airport was uneventful, I must have looked ridiculous through ooohhing and aaahhing about the state of their roads, paved, pothole-free, manicured grass, it was just lovely. Passaris would grab every bit of free space for her advertisements. The country is so green, even though kinda warm compared to the freezing temperatures in Nairobi now. Banana trees??? everywhere, taxis (matatus) and bodabodas (my buddy dint notice they were all the same color until I mentioned it to her).
Just a kilometre or so from the airport we stopped for dinner. Nice place and the food was great (the chicken was nicely done). All I can say is that Ugandans are generous with their potions. From there went home to sleep as it was well past 11 pm.
Woke up early (11am) the next day, prepared and had breakfast then went to the Beach. One of the loveliest, coolest, unpolluted beaches I've seen in ages. Those guys know how to preserve their stuff. Unlike Kenya where if you happen on a beach you cannot even find place to stand, in Uganda they have space, space and more space, you could actually somersault, roll on the beach, skip, dance 'naked' or do whatever, its was just lovely. No beachboys too. And Ugandans are so polite it hurts. 'How are you madam?'. 'What will you have madam?'. 'I will do so madam'. Imagine even women old enough to be my mom calling me 'madam'. I wish we could emulate just a potion of this kindness. From the security guard at home to the small kid wondering if a 'blakaberi' (blackberry) is a phone or a calculator and go ahead and have a heated discussion about the phone until you come to the rescue then they thank you and continue with their playing. Imagine sitting in a hotel having your lunch, or whatever meal and residents just pass through like its nothing big, where in Kenya would you get an open hotel where anyone can just walk in and out without having to be thrown out coz you are not a paying patron or you do not look like you can afford a square meal there. I was impressed.
After relaxing, went back home, showered and changed, relaxed a bit then left for Kampala, some 40 kilometres away. Took about 30 minutes. Went to the mall, (Called Garden City), and you should have seen the glow on my face when I saw Uchumi Supermarkets! So big, so spacious, so fully stocked, selling SEATS! Goodness gracious. I bought a Nation Newspaper (at 7pm). There was no Standard Newspaper, shame. Took the ramp to 3rd floor (they have lifts that they do not use, and yes, they work). I actually watched a movie.
After the movie we decided to go dancing. I remember the street where the clubs are from ages ago, hasnt changed much. We go to Silk Lounge (a real lounge). On entering, there's a barrier for those going in and those going out. In a corridor getting into the club? Please! Anyway, payed 20k for entry, ha ha. On entering the 'lounge' I cant help but marvel at the creativity of this guys, leather seats, different colors, lovely couches, OMG, I just sink into one but I have to move as the damn AC is on. We are the only ones here, and its at 11pm. I know in Kenya on weekends people start trotting into clubs from as early as 1pm. I politely ask the waiter to turn off the AC but he says it would not be allowed coz when the patrons walk in and start smoking, the place will stink like crazy. Too bad smoking in UG is not banned in public places.
I actually order for a pot of tea. In a club! Well, how else was I going to keep warm with the AC at a -ve temperature. Well, the lounge starts getting full at around half past midnight. And did I mention i was in jeans and a heavy sweater? Well, I happened to be overdressed. These guys do dress for the occassion. Nice tiny fitting outfits, clutch purses, very very high heeled shoes, the men are in ties are 1am in the morning, beats logic. I was damn impressed. My problem was with some two pregnant gals who just looked ridiculous in their tight tops with hanging bellies, I felt so bad especially when they started drinking and dancing (if swaying from side to side with a protruding belly is dancing). I couldn't say a thing.
The DJ was the most annoyed guy, he kept interrupting music and announcing events happening in Kampala next weekend, who will be where, and no one seemed to mind at all! Well maybe its the way they do things there so I just played along. Danced kidogo, to keep the cold away, and it did not help. At around 3 am a cake was brought and apparently it was one gal's birthday and the music stopped, she was sang for the birthday song, she cut the cake, served her friends while the rest watched and wished, then the music continued.
Anyway, left the city at around 3am when life was beginning to happen. I was exhausted. Outside there were as many people waiting to come in as there were inside. And there was a sign outside too 'HOUSE FULL'. It was great though, all was fine.
Reached home so exhausted and went straight to bed, waiting for another long day tomorrow, Sunday.
But that is a story in the past and I do not dwell on the past.
We I took a deserved break last week to visit Uganda. Needed the time alone to just go relax, refresh, rethink my options and basically just REORGANIZE! And reorganize I did. Ok, day one was ok, left Friday p.m. aboard Air Uganda (till last week I didn't even know they existed, but the gamble paid off). The flight was smooth, no incidents but I was kinda disappointed that they only served sandwiches. No option of a vegetarian meal. Sorry, the option was to take water or soda or juice (packed, and made in Kenya but I'm not mentioning names). Flight took an hour, just like going to Kisumu on KQ.
Surprise surprise, Entebbe airport has grown, shame on JKIA. Last time I was there I thought we'd been flown to Kisumu! But now, I'm embarassed to have an international airport that we call Jomo Kenyatta. I'm sure the all knowing will say the EBB airport has been build with help from the Israel Government, so what! We pay enough taxes to do a better job than that. We have a bigger uglier airport, but please don't ask what I'm doing about it. We pay for services to be provided and later cry foul when our money is misused on nothing at all. Ni sawa tu.
My drive from the airport was uneventful, I must have looked ridiculous through ooohhing and aaahhing about the state of their roads, paved, pothole-free, manicured grass, it was just lovely. Passaris would grab every bit of free space for her advertisements. The country is so green, even though kinda warm compared to the freezing temperatures in Nairobi now. Banana trees??? everywhere, taxis (matatus) and bodabodas (my buddy dint notice they were all the same color until I mentioned it to her).
Just a kilometre or so from the airport we stopped for dinner. Nice place and the food was great (the chicken was nicely done). All I can say is that Ugandans are generous with their potions. From there went home to sleep as it was well past 11 pm.
Woke up early (11am) the next day, prepared and had breakfast then went to the Beach. One of the loveliest, coolest, unpolluted beaches I've seen in ages. Those guys know how to preserve their stuff. Unlike Kenya where if you happen on a beach you cannot even find place to stand, in Uganda they have space, space and more space, you could actually somersault, roll on the beach, skip, dance 'naked' or do whatever, its was just lovely. No beachboys too. And Ugandans are so polite it hurts. 'How are you madam?'. 'What will you have madam?'. 'I will do so madam'. Imagine even women old enough to be my mom calling me 'madam'. I wish we could emulate just a potion of this kindness. From the security guard at home to the small kid wondering if a 'blakaberi' (blackberry) is a phone or a calculator and go ahead and have a heated discussion about the phone until you come to the rescue then they thank you and continue with their playing. Imagine sitting in a hotel having your lunch, or whatever meal and residents just pass through like its nothing big, where in Kenya would you get an open hotel where anyone can just walk in and out without having to be thrown out coz you are not a paying patron or you do not look like you can afford a square meal there. I was impressed.
After relaxing, went back home, showered and changed, relaxed a bit then left for Kampala, some 40 kilometres away. Took about 30 minutes. Went to the mall, (Called Garden City), and you should have seen the glow on my face when I saw Uchumi Supermarkets! So big, so spacious, so fully stocked, selling SEATS! Goodness gracious. I bought a Nation Newspaper (at 7pm). There was no Standard Newspaper, shame. Took the ramp to 3rd floor (they have lifts that they do not use, and yes, they work). I actually watched a movie.
After the movie we decided to go dancing. I remember the street where the clubs are from ages ago, hasnt changed much. We go to Silk Lounge (a real lounge). On entering, there's a barrier for those going in and those going out. In a corridor getting into the club? Please! Anyway, payed 20k for entry, ha ha. On entering the 'lounge' I cant help but marvel at the creativity of this guys, leather seats, different colors, lovely couches, OMG, I just sink into one but I have to move as the damn AC is on. We are the only ones here, and its at 11pm. I know in Kenya on weekends people start trotting into clubs from as early as 1pm. I politely ask the waiter to turn off the AC but he says it would not be allowed coz when the patrons walk in and start smoking, the place will stink like crazy. Too bad smoking in UG is not banned in public places.
I actually order for a pot of tea. In a club! Well, how else was I going to keep warm with the AC at a -ve temperature. Well, the lounge starts getting full at around half past midnight. And did I mention i was in jeans and a heavy sweater? Well, I happened to be overdressed. These guys do dress for the occassion. Nice tiny fitting outfits, clutch purses, very very high heeled shoes, the men are in ties are 1am in the morning, beats logic. I was damn impressed. My problem was with some two pregnant gals who just looked ridiculous in their tight tops with hanging bellies, I felt so bad especially when they started drinking and dancing (if swaying from side to side with a protruding belly is dancing). I couldn't say a thing.
The DJ was the most annoyed guy, he kept interrupting music and announcing events happening in Kampala next weekend, who will be where, and no one seemed to mind at all! Well maybe its the way they do things there so I just played along. Danced kidogo, to keep the cold away, and it did not help. At around 3 am a cake was brought and apparently it was one gal's birthday and the music stopped, she was sang for the birthday song, she cut the cake, served her friends while the rest watched and wished, then the music continued.
Anyway, left the city at around 3am when life was beginning to happen. I was exhausted. Outside there were as many people waiting to come in as there were inside. And there was a sign outside too 'HOUSE FULL'. It was great though, all was fine.
Reached home so exhausted and went straight to bed, waiting for another long day tomorrow, Sunday.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Long time
Its been so long since I posted anything on this blog I guess I've even run out of stuff to write about. Not that my life has been uneventful, far from it. I had just decided to take a break.
It have been interesting watching things unfold day in and day out, especially after Safaricom's IPO. I heard that they are only allocating 30% of what shareholders wanted. Well, tough luck for all those people who took bank loans to buy the shares, wonder what they will be thinking right now.
I have my boss coming over this weekend and hope to have a blast, being the carefree man that he is. We have dinner for all our corporates, family and friend but the thing is that the dinner is at night. Kenyans have started complaining that they want to be invited for the drinks on Saturday or even Friday. I wonder when we started demanding on dates and times when we wanted our friends to hold their birthday parties, weddings, get togethers. If I have a bash I call you and if you cannot make it, there's a number I've put for you to RSVP, then I'll cater for the confirmed guests. But please dont call asking me to change the date and time so that it fits in your schedule, could be the reason I want you on a Sunday is because I dont want to to ruin my pocket, I have a budget I'm working on too, remember.
I'm hungry.
Oh and did I mention that I started jogging? Well, I did and I have respect for all the early morning and late evening joggers coz I don't know how the hack it. My whole body is in pain.
Gatta lie down. Unfitness!!!
It have been interesting watching things unfold day in and day out, especially after Safaricom's IPO. I heard that they are only allocating 30% of what shareholders wanted. Well, tough luck for all those people who took bank loans to buy the shares, wonder what they will be thinking right now.
I have my boss coming over this weekend and hope to have a blast, being the carefree man that he is. We have dinner for all our corporates, family and friend but the thing is that the dinner is at night. Kenyans have started complaining that they want to be invited for the drinks on Saturday or even Friday. I wonder when we started demanding on dates and times when we wanted our friends to hold their birthday parties, weddings, get togethers. If I have a bash I call you and if you cannot make it, there's a number I've put for you to RSVP, then I'll cater for the confirmed guests. But please dont call asking me to change the date and time so that it fits in your schedule, could be the reason I want you on a Sunday is because I dont want to to ruin my pocket, I have a budget I'm working on too, remember.
I'm hungry.
Oh and did I mention that I started jogging? Well, I did and I have respect for all the early morning and late evening joggers coz I don't know how the hack it. My whole body is in pain.
Gatta lie down. Unfitness!!!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Kids and accidents
I'm still coming to terms with this even as a hit my keyboard.
On Sunday the 2nd of March I decided to visit a former colleague and friend as we hadn't linked up in quite a while. I had had an uneventful morning, decided to go shopping early afternoon, had lunch at Ronalo, then headed home.
When I got home I remembered I was to meet her. My son was downstairs playing and there was no way I was going to leave without him seeing me. So I called him and we headed to visit my gal. This was at around 5pm. We sat, finished watching a movie, made some coffee and decided to relax.
The boy had poured water on his jeans so I had to remove and dry the trouser. I stood up, headed to get the iron box and heard a thud. My son had walked out of the house, climbed the grills which are half way and fell one floor down. The sight of him down there, made me feel something I have never felt before. Was he dead, was he hurt, was he, was he? So many question ran through my mind and no answer was forthcoming. We both rushed down and just by the look of things, I knew all was not well.
The boy was bleeding from the mouth, and he had no upper teeth! I helped him cry. I hate to imagine the kind of pain he must have been going through at that moment. I picked him up, ran back upstair to clean his mouth but it was not helping. I cried some more as I gathered guts to call dad as we had parted less than an hour earlier. I think I was crying so hard my friend had to talk on my behalf. First getting him to a hospital. I knew I was to go but I didn't know which one, Nairobi Hosp was too far, I cant take him to Aga Khan, he settled for Gertrude's and said we meet there. Being in Kariokor, it wasn't far. I entered the car, I couldn't drive, my buddy decided to drive us to the hospital. When we reached the hosp. one look and we were ushered into the emergency section.
I was carrying him and by now, I was all blood. I didn't really care. I wanted all to be well. He was in so much pain and he was not being given painkillers. I hated those nurses then. They explained that giving him any painkillers would prevent them from noticing any weird behaviours if any, so they had to monitor his vitals first. The doctor came and asked that we put him down for them to observe him too. Off he went. He does not like anyone in a long white coat, he has a thing about doctors. When they saw him walking, they said he had no broken bones, the legs were ok.
Test number 2. Injecting him with the painkillers on his thigh. It was not easy. He fought on doctor, two nurses, myself and the dad who had by now arrived. This the doctor said was a good sign as it looked like most of his vitals were not affected by the fall. He put up a good fight. This was also one of the signs looked for from falls. If the baby cannot move, or is quite, not crying, the doctors worry. Well, what about the head? I needed to find out if they skull was cracked (God forbid) or he had any head injuries. Off we were again to the casualty department. But wait a minute. We had been booked for x-rays but we could not go until we got an invoice. We are standing at the reception, waiting for some slow accountant to raise an invoice, he doesnt know some codes and keeps calling the x-ray department to clarify, and I have a bleeding screaming baby with me. No the dad is carrying him and I've been given a mouthful, how I'm such a bad mother, etc etc. Ok.
The dad asks them if they will still send the invoice if the baby dies when they are still raising the invoice. I guess this caught them off guard as they all looked at him in shock but they anyway continued raising the invoice. I didn't know it took so long to raise one. We are on our way after about 20 minutes, place the boy onto the x-ray table. He is so strong, it takes 5 of us to hold him down for him to be x-rayed. After about half an hour we are done and the waiting begins.
The nurse comes and gives us the films, but will not explain as it is the doctor's job!!! Damn!! Ok, relax. We head back to the doctor's office, he comes and explains the films in detail. No broken bones anywhere. The headscan is fine, chest is fine, spine is fine, he's basically fine except for the upper gum where the teeth are missing. He has to be observed overnight. We get a ward at the Felicity number 28. The last time I got to stay overnight at the hospital was when I had delivered. I myself do not like hospitals and here I am, in a ward. The boy is now a bit relaxed having been given the painkillers. He goes to sleep. He's out completely. And I have to monitor him. He needs another jab at midnight and a drip too from that time as he is scheduled to have surgery early morning. Come midnight, I have to interrupt his sweet sleep. I feel so bad knowing what he's been through. He needs sugar as he hasnt eaten anything the from 1pm the previous day. Since he is going into surgery, no meals from midnight. 'NIL BY MOUTH', is what's at his door.
At around 1am, the boy wakes up, as hungry as can be. His stomach is empty. He wants to breastfeed and I cant. His lip still had the deep cut as its yet to be satured. And I cannot give him anything because it could jeorpadize the surgery. What to do. I don't like not giving a kid food and that touched a nerve. I felt bad that I could not feed him and I knew he was very hungry. His last meal had been at 1pm. I gave him water, he took it like his life depended on it. He must have been suffering. Well, he cried himself to sleep. Woke up again at 3am, still no food. This went on till 6am when he just had enough of his mean mum and pulled off the needle connected to the drip. Had to call the night nurse to redo it. He got injected on the right hand now and I had to keep watch lest he removes it again. Morning came (the night has never been this long as I watch the drip).
Come morning, I'm called for breakfast, but how can I eat when my son's been longing to have something to eat. I declined their offer. At 0930hrs he is wheeled out of his ward and to the x-ray theatre. He didn't want to go alone. I couldn't wait outside the theatre. His dad decided to wait there. It was the longest wait though. I went and took a shower, and since I was told it would be over in 45mins top, I was there just in time to see the anaesthetist leave the room. I asked how it had gone and she said great. These are the people who mess people by either overdosing or underdosing patients on the operating table. Behind her walked the dental surgeon. He told us the boy had woken up and was doing great. Nothing to worry about. They had removed three of his teeth!!!! Apparently the teeth had sunk into his gum during the fall and they had to remove them. Being milk teeth, they would still grow and all we needed to do was monitor and make sure his gums did not get infected. Then he also said that we could go home!!
I headed to clear the bills before leaving for home. I'd missed home and couldn't wait to get home and sleep. We are done at the hospital by 3pm and are headed home. The boy is also happy to be out of the hospital surrounding. As soon as we reach home, he's out. When we left the operating theatre and I was clearing, he fell asleep. Guess the anaesthesia was still wearing off little by little.
Feeding time is the problem. His food has to be mashed as he cannot bite anything as he is missing his teeth. Then he sees the famous bottle that brought about all this. He takes it, tries to pull up the nozzle but alas! no teeth to aid him. He starts crying and I feel his pain. He feels so helpless without his teeth. Should I get him temporary ones till he grown his permanent teeth? Dad says no, he will have to get used to staying without teeth for some time now. Well, at least he is learning to accept his condition.
He forgets that he is yet to recover and starts his games again. The next I know, he has rolled down the stairs! This shocks him and he just cries abit and is back on the same stairway again. Kids! He forgets so soon what he has been through. I need to get a dog leash to keep him in check. I don't want any more accidents with him.
I just keep praying that he walked out of his fall without any long term symptoms that I'm yet to notice. I believe my prayers will be answered and he will be fine, the boy I cherish!
On Sunday the 2nd of March I decided to visit a former colleague and friend as we hadn't linked up in quite a while. I had had an uneventful morning, decided to go shopping early afternoon, had lunch at Ronalo, then headed home.
When I got home I remembered I was to meet her. My son was downstairs playing and there was no way I was going to leave without him seeing me. So I called him and we headed to visit my gal. This was at around 5pm. We sat, finished watching a movie, made some coffee and decided to relax.
The boy had poured water on his jeans so I had to remove and dry the trouser. I stood up, headed to get the iron box and heard a thud. My son had walked out of the house, climbed the grills which are half way and fell one floor down. The sight of him down there, made me feel something I have never felt before. Was he dead, was he hurt, was he, was he? So many question ran through my mind and no answer was forthcoming. We both rushed down and just by the look of things, I knew all was not well.
The boy was bleeding from the mouth, and he had no upper teeth! I helped him cry. I hate to imagine the kind of pain he must have been going through at that moment. I picked him up, ran back upstair to clean his mouth but it was not helping. I cried some more as I gathered guts to call dad as we had parted less than an hour earlier. I think I was crying so hard my friend had to talk on my behalf. First getting him to a hospital. I knew I was to go but I didn't know which one, Nairobi Hosp was too far, I cant take him to Aga Khan, he settled for Gertrude's and said we meet there. Being in Kariokor, it wasn't far. I entered the car, I couldn't drive, my buddy decided to drive us to the hospital. When we reached the hosp. one look and we were ushered into the emergency section.
I was carrying him and by now, I was all blood. I didn't really care. I wanted all to be well. He was in so much pain and he was not being given painkillers. I hated those nurses then. They explained that giving him any painkillers would prevent them from noticing any weird behaviours if any, so they had to monitor his vitals first. The doctor came and asked that we put him down for them to observe him too. Off he went. He does not like anyone in a long white coat, he has a thing about doctors. When they saw him walking, they said he had no broken bones, the legs were ok.
Test number 2. Injecting him with the painkillers on his thigh. It was not easy. He fought on doctor, two nurses, myself and the dad who had by now arrived. This the doctor said was a good sign as it looked like most of his vitals were not affected by the fall. He put up a good fight. This was also one of the signs looked for from falls. If the baby cannot move, or is quite, not crying, the doctors worry. Well, what about the head? I needed to find out if they skull was cracked (God forbid) or he had any head injuries. Off we were again to the casualty department. But wait a minute. We had been booked for x-rays but we could not go until we got an invoice. We are standing at the reception, waiting for some slow accountant to raise an invoice, he doesnt know some codes and keeps calling the x-ray department to clarify, and I have a bleeding screaming baby with me. No the dad is carrying him and I've been given a mouthful, how I'm such a bad mother, etc etc. Ok.
The dad asks them if they will still send the invoice if the baby dies when they are still raising the invoice. I guess this caught them off guard as they all looked at him in shock but they anyway continued raising the invoice. I didn't know it took so long to raise one. We are on our way after about 20 minutes, place the boy onto the x-ray table. He is so strong, it takes 5 of us to hold him down for him to be x-rayed. After about half an hour we are done and the waiting begins.
The nurse comes and gives us the films, but will not explain as it is the doctor's job!!! Damn!! Ok, relax. We head back to the doctor's office, he comes and explains the films in detail. No broken bones anywhere. The headscan is fine, chest is fine, spine is fine, he's basically fine except for the upper gum where the teeth are missing. He has to be observed overnight. We get a ward at the Felicity number 28. The last time I got to stay overnight at the hospital was when I had delivered. I myself do not like hospitals and here I am, in a ward. The boy is now a bit relaxed having been given the painkillers. He goes to sleep. He's out completely. And I have to monitor him. He needs another jab at midnight and a drip too from that time as he is scheduled to have surgery early morning. Come midnight, I have to interrupt his sweet sleep. I feel so bad knowing what he's been through. He needs sugar as he hasnt eaten anything the from 1pm the previous day. Since he is going into surgery, no meals from midnight. 'NIL BY MOUTH', is what's at his door.
At around 1am, the boy wakes up, as hungry as can be. His stomach is empty. He wants to breastfeed and I cant. His lip still had the deep cut as its yet to be satured. And I cannot give him anything because it could jeorpadize the surgery. What to do. I don't like not giving a kid food and that touched a nerve. I felt bad that I could not feed him and I knew he was very hungry. His last meal had been at 1pm. I gave him water, he took it like his life depended on it. He must have been suffering. Well, he cried himself to sleep. Woke up again at 3am, still no food. This went on till 6am when he just had enough of his mean mum and pulled off the needle connected to the drip. Had to call the night nurse to redo it. He got injected on the right hand now and I had to keep watch lest he removes it again. Morning came (the night has never been this long as I watch the drip).
Come morning, I'm called for breakfast, but how can I eat when my son's been longing to have something to eat. I declined their offer. At 0930hrs he is wheeled out of his ward and to the x-ray theatre. He didn't want to go alone. I couldn't wait outside the theatre. His dad decided to wait there. It was the longest wait though. I went and took a shower, and since I was told it would be over in 45mins top, I was there just in time to see the anaesthetist leave the room. I asked how it had gone and she said great. These are the people who mess people by either overdosing or underdosing patients on the operating table. Behind her walked the dental surgeon. He told us the boy had woken up and was doing great. Nothing to worry about. They had removed three of his teeth!!!! Apparently the teeth had sunk into his gum during the fall and they had to remove them. Being milk teeth, they would still grow and all we needed to do was monitor and make sure his gums did not get infected. Then he also said that we could go home!!
I headed to clear the bills before leaving for home. I'd missed home and couldn't wait to get home and sleep. We are done at the hospital by 3pm and are headed home. The boy is also happy to be out of the hospital surrounding. As soon as we reach home, he's out. When we left the operating theatre and I was clearing, he fell asleep. Guess the anaesthesia was still wearing off little by little.
Feeding time is the problem. His food has to be mashed as he cannot bite anything as he is missing his teeth. Then he sees the famous bottle that brought about all this. He takes it, tries to pull up the nozzle but alas! no teeth to aid him. He starts crying and I feel his pain. He feels so helpless without his teeth. Should I get him temporary ones till he grown his permanent teeth? Dad says no, he will have to get used to staying without teeth for some time now. Well, at least he is learning to accept his condition.
He forgets that he is yet to recover and starts his games again. The next I know, he has rolled down the stairs! This shocks him and he just cries abit and is back on the same stairway again. Kids! He forgets so soon what he has been through. I need to get a dog leash to keep him in check. I don't want any more accidents with him.
I just keep praying that he walked out of his fall without any long term symptoms that I'm yet to notice. I believe my prayers will be answered and he will be fine, the boy I cherish!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Star Review
At our company, we have this thing called the Star Review. The company believes that one should have the opportunity to shine and I do agree with that. They want the staff to enjoy challenging jobs, to know what's expected of them, realize their full potential and be recognized for a job well done. It ensures that we are all focused on supporting our business objectives by achieving our own objectives, receive timely and accurate feedback on how well we perfomed against the agreed objectives and behaviors for our roles. The Manager makes an assessment of our strengths and development needs and puts in place a meaningful development plan to drive performance and aspirations.
Perfomance is rated under O (Outstanding), E ( Frequently exceeds Requirements), M (Meets requirements), NI (Needs improvement) and U (Unacceptable). It is like an exam and you have to prepare for it as it involves reading through Performance objectives, jotting them down and coming up with your own individual objective, reasons you think you met them and what is agreed about your performance with your manager. Then it is rated using the methods above.
This is also measured using the SMART method of setting objectives, meaning Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-related. You also need to inform of your Personal Development Plan (PDP).
Having finished the first section you get to move on to the second section, mainly discussing leadership principles and behaviours, how you have achieved it. How have you been bold and adventurous, focussed aggressively on profit (all employers want that), delivered the basics brilliantly and added some magic touches and stuff like if you inspired and engaged ur colleagues or ensured that great people could do great work.
Moving on to the PDP, you then had an opportunity to state your career aspirations, within and beyond your current role, your strengths and any additional skills, knowledge and experience you will need to develop to achieve your objectives for the next year (current as it is). Looking forward, its now you and you alone and if you need any help, where from. E-learning is made accessible for all so that is not a question. We can all make it if we put our hearts to it.
I wish all our politicians looked at this country as one great company that all wanted to work in, didn't feel like leaving until retirement beckons. Looking at the SMART method, we all should have a time-frame by which to achieve goals we set by, and seeing that nobody likes to take responsibility for their actions, why do we need them. Its is so painful that the same people who give deadlines are the same ones who will do anything to make sure nothing is done by the same deadlines that they give. How sad! Well, I do pray that sooner than later, we will all put aside our selfishness and strive to live together as one family like we did, without suspicion, without hate, but like friends, good neighbours.
Doing the star Review taught me a lot. We all have to aim to achieve some goals.
Perfomance is rated under O (Outstanding), E ( Frequently exceeds Requirements), M (Meets requirements), NI (Needs improvement) and U (Unacceptable). It is like an exam and you have to prepare for it as it involves reading through Performance objectives, jotting them down and coming up with your own individual objective, reasons you think you met them and what is agreed about your performance with your manager. Then it is rated using the methods above.
This is also measured using the SMART method of setting objectives, meaning Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-related. You also need to inform of your Personal Development Plan (PDP).
Having finished the first section you get to move on to the second section, mainly discussing leadership principles and behaviours, how you have achieved it. How have you been bold and adventurous, focussed aggressively on profit (all employers want that), delivered the basics brilliantly and added some magic touches and stuff like if you inspired and engaged ur colleagues or ensured that great people could do great work.
Moving on to the PDP, you then had an opportunity to state your career aspirations, within and beyond your current role, your strengths and any additional skills, knowledge and experience you will need to develop to achieve your objectives for the next year (current as it is). Looking forward, its now you and you alone and if you need any help, where from. E-learning is made accessible for all so that is not a question. We can all make it if we put our hearts to it.
I wish all our politicians looked at this country as one great company that all wanted to work in, didn't feel like leaving until retirement beckons. Looking at the SMART method, we all should have a time-frame by which to achieve goals we set by, and seeing that nobody likes to take responsibility for their actions, why do we need them. Its is so painful that the same people who give deadlines are the same ones who will do anything to make sure nothing is done by the same deadlines that they give. How sad! Well, I do pray that sooner than later, we will all put aside our selfishness and strive to live together as one family like we did, without suspicion, without hate, but like friends, good neighbours.
Doing the star Review taught me a lot. We all have to aim to achieve some goals.
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